Well, let me clarify: I have no shortage of “dates”. I have an outgoing personality and seem to be asked out a lot…I guess I must be in reasonable shape because NOBODY can guess I’ve even had four kids, or that I’m even 34 (I get asked out by guys in their early 20s- I feel like I should read them a story and tuck them into bed… we usually go on a few dates, everything is going wonderful… I’m not talking about church bells, but just to an actual relationship. I am sick of being treated like a piece of ass, and treated like I must be desperate because I have kids.There’s no way that I – or most men who don’t have their shit together – would willingly enter into a relationship with a woman who has so many other responsibilities, the way all moms do.At risk of making myself look bad, I once dated a single mom of a two-year-old.Plus, it tells her (and any other woman, for that matter) that she was your Plan B for the evening. But if you really want to see her, give her plenty of time to sort out her schedule. In fact, if you DON’T appear interested in her family she’ll think that you’re not into kids. When a guy laughs at my funny-kid story, or is sympathetic about my mom worries, I’m in. But if you tend to take turns picking up the bill, but she sometimes rearranges her life to get out of the house and pays for a babysitter so she can spend time with you, acknowledge that. Know that when she invites you over, it is more work for her than when you invite her over. Yes, moms are really efficient and they’re used to doing a lot of cooking and cleaning. But there are some things that you just do not say to a single mom on a first date, assuming you’re angling for a second. “That’s great your mom lives in town so you can leave your kids with her on weekends.” 2.
Is it too much of an ask that I could actually meet someone who can see me as a woman, and not just as mother or worse, a bit of bedroom fun? I know Everest is high, but SOME people get up the damn thing, don’t they?
I was married for ten years, have four beautiful boys under 9 and have a very fulfilling and successful career.
My life is happy, but I really would love to share it with someone…
Ultimately, all I wanted from that single mom was to hook up, because that’s all I felt she could give me.
Whether it’s fair or not is debatable, but that’s how I felt at the time.