I always thought finding a boyfriend would be a life-changer for me, but it was actually finding people on the same level as me, people with common interests.
Lots of them are couples, but I guess that's just the way it is when you get to your late twenties and early thirties. But that underlying fear of being alone and lonely, and all the resentment that comes with that, is still very much there. I'm dating someone now but I still have that fear of being left—of someone just walking away and leaving me on my own again.
But there are particular reasons why loneliness is prevalent among the LGBTQ community.
So the behaviors I'd already displayed at home just continued in a different city, with much less parental supervision.
I made one gay friend, who I'm actually close to now.
But back then, we didn't really talk about things. We both liked the Spice Girls, and that was enough for me.
We'd just go out to bars together and get so drunk that we couldn't remember how we got home.