Although the relationship will be full of cracks and they are not likely to last, the rollercoaster ride leaves both parties dizzy and constantly reeling. We are constantly learning and are subjected to a variety of stimuli on a daily basis that makes it entirely impossible to remain the same.This makes the experience one that can be very difficult to step away from. Day-to-day changes may not be very noticeable but when we look back over time the changes are far more obvious.We wrongly believe it must be everyone else’s fault the relationships we’ve been in haven’t worked out. We have to become the type of person we want to be to be able to attract the same qualities in another.What we fail to see is that just because we grown-up love, it doesn’t mean that we ourselves are ready for it. Or at the very least to be able to keep it once we have attracted it.
I believed that without drama relationships were calm but boring, and that it was okay to be a little volatile at times.I had been involved in intense dynamics whereby we foolishly believed at the time that if our relationship ended, our whole worlds would crumble with it.Now, I see clearly how juvenile that was and how it was keeping us in a parent-child dependency rather than allowing us to function as two grown adults.We need to be open and accepting of each other’s unique paths and work hard to offer unconditional love.This way we can still choose one another to love, but love each other without feeling the need to demand that things stay the same, or that one (or both) compromises themselves to keep the other happy.