Your only option is to accept the fact that this is an attribute of the personality of alcoholism.
Once you have an understanding that nothing you say or do is going to change their selfishness, the less expectations you will have. When we stop expecting the alcoholic to act a certain way that they are not capable of doing because of their constant obsession to get a drink, we will have less disappointments and resentments to deal with.
If you can figure out what makes them act this way will you feel more loved by them?
” you may get some information you need, but I’m not sure it will make your hard, important decision that much easier.That will often result in a short-lived relationship, but not always.Find out if the person you care for has done any self-improvement work to deal with their childhood, whether therapy, a twelve-step group, lots and lots of reading, or some other, structured, form of working through the problems that a childhood with an alcoholic parents creates.It’s hard to get at our soft centers, but not impossible. We’re kind of like big, protective brothers in that regard.Unfortunately, because we are so loyal, we sometimes make the mistake of staying loyal to a person or situation (or job) that doesn’t deserve our fantastic loyalty.