I feel like we could help so many people by doing this.” Thinking back as far as a year to this day, he would never have conceived of sitting with me, or anyone for that matter, talking about Cerebral Palsy, because it was something that was “so locked inside of myself,” says O’Connell, leaning in to the table.
“Confidence is real,” he says, and after revealing the secret he carried, he remembers “guys flocking” to him for the first time.
“So, for me to write was a way to feel a sense of community with other people and to feel less alone.” The Internet gave Ryan an outlet for his anxieties about being 24, being gay, figuring out how to be an adult, and trying to find love while feeling unlovable.
As a blogger, he brought massive traffic to , and developed a cult following online, but seeking validation from strangers was, at some level, driving everything.
“Any gay person — spoiler, gay people — that have felt ‘other’ and not like they fit into the mold, this is the show for them.” O’Connell wears round glasses and arches his eyebrows when he speaks.
Some of his most popular posts for What It Feels Like To Get F**ked In The Ass,” “The Time I Tried To Kiss A Boy And He Vomited On Me,” and “What Would I Be Like If I Were Straight?
Even as far back as high school, he came out by throwing a party and playing his friends a video he made where a girl dances with him, goes in for a kiss, and then he stops her by looking into the camera to scream, “I’m gay, bitches!
” That irreverence doesn’t change in , in which he writes about pooping during his first time having anal sex with a guy.
“If I’m gonna have to fucking take the bullet about shitting on someone during anal sex, then I guess I'll do it!