I also have three fantastic housemates, two of whom are in a couple.Before they started dating (also before I started dating my current partner), I had really strong feelings for one of them and had to work through a lot of sadness and jealousy when I heard about their relationship.) it’s not appropriate for employees to mock their colleagues for their perceived or actual medical conditions. My relationship with my family is at best distant—we don’t have a lot in common and there were several incidents of what I’ve been told most people would call abuse (but I’m not there yet, mentally speaking). I’ve managed to get him to tone it down around me enough that I can handle a monthly phone call, but that’s my limit.I really didn’t want him to walk me down the aisle, but by the end of the engagement, I was so burned out on decision-making that I just didn’t have the strength for that conversation, with him or any of my many relatives who would have demanded an explanation. He was so drunk at the rehearsal that I had to hold him up as we walked down the aisle, and he made jokes about disrupting the ceremony to object.I have a therapist, too, and I’ve brought it up there, because it’s taking up a lot of mental energy right now, energy I don’t have.
He snuck a bottle of liquor into our unlimited beer-and-wine reception, which the venue fined me for.
Recently my feelings have resurfaced in full force, along with some feelings for the other half of the couple.
I am often hit with waves of sadness and/or jealousy when I see them together, even if we’re all hanging out.
Sometimes I think I don’t want it to go away, anyway; I don’t always have a lot of feelings with depression, so there’s something nice about having these intense emotions, even if they’re hard to handle. My wish for you and your girlfriend is not to live in a state of unresolved, unexpressed, unrequitable longing; nor is it for the two of you to get involved, either physically or emotionally, in a live-in open relationship with your housemates right now.
Being hit by constant waves of sadness and jealousy just from looking at your housemates is, to say the least, suboptimal, and you acknowledge that you’re depleting your own mental and emotional reserves trying to manage this situation, even with the support of your girlfriend and a therapist.