But you need to realize that there is no divine fiat or immutable natural law that dictates one being better than the other. Decide what sort of relationship you would want if you were John Mayer and every girl in the world were begging for the chance to see you. But regardless, you should know the answer has NO bearing on my feelings towards you. So know what the truth is and represent it wholly and thoughtfully.
For now, take it from me: 2014’s prejudice against open relationships is misguided. Now for the steps to managing dating multiple girlfriends! In a perfect world, what would your relationships with women look like? If I’m spending any amount of time with you it means I think you are an amazing person. Guys wind up in monogamous relationships they never intended to be in because things snowball out of control. You’ve probably never gotten this real with people. There are too many wonderful, beautiful people for me to shut any doors. You are a piece of shit if you lie about this because you WILL devastate girls. I love my best friend, but if he told me to drop all my other friends and go exclusive with him, it would be over.Not long ago, I got one of the best compliments of my life. When I asked her impression of me she said, “I think you are with a lot of women and you treat them all very well.” It made me so happy because there is this cultural belief that if you see multiple women, you are a monster and a heartless player. You can see multiple girls and still be a good dude. You need to do things differently than all of your role models have before you (after all, how many people do you know in multiple healthy relationships? Any anthropologist worth his salt will tell you that Homo sapiens evolved in non-monogamous settings (though there is still debate over whether those were more harem-like Gorilla societies or free loving bonobo societies). You need to be crystal clear and confident on this because if you choose open relationships, you will face some heavy emotional pushing to compromise on this point. If you’re caught off guard, you might revert to an easy lie. Seriously, proper planning is 50% of leading a moral life. I am happy to talk about this and I want you to feel comfortable telling me about people you’ve been with if you want.The structure I’ve covered up until here will lay the groundwork for you to make the same impression. It’s also about leaving everyone better than you found them. The rise of sexual exclusivity likely didn’t occur until the last 10,000 years with the rise of agriculture and private property. Men and women alike, we’re biologically hardwired to seek multiple sexual partners concurrently. It is in those times that you will need to look to your North Star and follow it, despite the temptation to cave. I wanted to love different things in different girls and I wanted the freedom to never stop exploring. I’ll write more on this later, but for now take it from me: you need to plan for these questions. Personally, I won’t be asking, but you should feel free to tell me if it is important to you.