As the marriage went on, he became increasingly critical and angry.
(Psychological abuse is the term that comes to mind.) Yet because she'd never really been alone, she could not imagine life without him.
In a cooler moment, you may have made a more strategic deal, but you will not generally have the luxury of negotiating twice.
If you are separating, you should attend to the fine print of your future life now.
It merits saying up front that separation, physical or legal, does not always lead to divorce.
Sometimes separation can be a time of forgiveness and renewed commitment.
Most of the time, separation is a preamble to divorce -- even if that was not the original intent.
A Dallas couple we know opted for a long-distance relationship as a means of gaining perspective.
(Indeed, they exist in that state to this day.) The woman, happily living in a townhouse in Miami, plays tennis during the day and spends evenings with her lover, another woman. In the man's case, getting a divorce would only make him available for remarriage, an idea he hardly relishes.Red Alert: If you enter separation believing it is just what you need to heal your marriage, you may be kidding yourself.All too often couples who separate just to "get a little distance" find they like the distance just fine.Many times, couples will separate in hopes of saving a marriage. After all, just getting distance from a painful, antagonistic situation can provide you with enough perspective to come back together weeks or months later and sort things out. The man, a newspaper reporter, left his wife in Boston and went on assignment in Russia for a year.Their marriage had been on the rocks, but during the year apart, the two developed an e-mail correspondence that brought them new intimacy and understanding.